Wednesday, November 17, 2010

and in the grand tradition
there was but one defect
yr husband keeping company with british derelict

she called herself the captain
a voyage we endured
but every solemn whisper was as she assured
to hide and be discovered
in such a time of need
is such a pain that when recalled provides a worthy plead

for holding such a temper
so well and so without
can leave a burn on memory, so bad and without doubt.

hide in broken corners, sleep in unmarked graves,
tell tall tales of oceans; imaginary waves

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Your Brother, Your Lamb

i love yr fucking anger
yr rhythm and yr style
yr talentless, immobile bliss
i'll make it worth yr while

my hunger and my youth
for lust and worthless men
makes me, breaks me, then it wakes me
time and time again

i wake in empty beds
u sleep in empty streets
yr mother, lover just discovered
the ever fuckd elites

im craving endless sound;
in and out these waves.
my view askew, im sure u knew
how/why he acts/behaves

my temper has a number
yr lucid as a germ
yr time my dear, i fear, u fear
will flee if u hold firm

so dont u shun my fate
my ever-present wrath
preferred unheard that dirty word
i fucked on yr behalf

Thursday, September 9, 2010


born to distant cousins
born to run and run
born at 4:30
born already undone

born forever boring
born forever more
born to die a lonely death
born to be a whore

born already addicted
born to be yr light
born to put out fires
born to reignite

born to tell you stories
born unto the dark
born to be a monthly check
born to lack that spark

born to be unhealthy
born just to slip by
born to be a waste of time
born just to die.

relapse perhaps

time to
time to
knees bent
rug burn

she’s so
make her taste tha rain

yr mom:
she drives yr shit insane

i sleep urround
dont give a fuk
make me feel her pain

love er taste er
makes me miss er
yr so goddamn humane

Tuesday, August 31, 2010


rangER dangER
full of sin;
filled with angER:

deep within       

hate yr makER
make her lose
ennd the life

u didnt choose.       

comb her hair
make her pretty
make her think

u (t)hink yr witty       

she didnt know
she didnt see
beneath her clothes

third DEgree       

she was tamed
built to last
severed veins

from sharp, cut glass       

hide yr love
mark her dead
cut her like

ud cut loose thread       

hide yr arms
yr sullen wrist
“how” they ask

a scratch: insist.       

watch that shadow
watch it dance
boiling blood

yr in a trance       

now u sing
and now u soothe
now u watch

her every move       

she dies for u
she dies for me
she dies for who

she couldnt be       


Saturday, August 14, 2010


mommy’s m-a-d at me again
“o captain! my captain!”
what a sin

kill the martyred 6-6 swine
impale the angel
killing time

she aint worth my precious time
the perfect shot, the perfect crim.e
listen to the wayward chime
holly rollers paid off in dime

mommy loved me
suzeeee said
fed me vitamins in bed

loved me so much
she had to die
couldn’t stand to see me cry

push me forward when we walk
mock me when i try to talk
use me as yr alram clock
plug me in: electric shock.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

scheme of things

i thought i once was worthless
but now im not so sure
yr heavy burdens, well-equipped, will someday be a cure.

for all of my humanity
my lack of self esteem
u will be my nightmare, while i’ll be yr wet dream.

hunger over-rides u
yr love for filth and scandal
will admit but dont forget to light yr roman candle

im down here on my knees
while yr up there in the sky
u love it when i say to u, u taste like apple pie.

my danger has unearthed u
u cannot lose that grin
we both agree that we r free to choose this mortal sin

dont tell me that u love me
dont wanna hear u lie
pull my hair, i dont care, u fuck just like a guy

adieu adieu

hearts she said

bullshit, bullshit, interbred

glossy shine

steal her soul and make it mine

long nights
world on fire

momma loves you; LIAR LIAR

white tips
pink lips
open legs

aint got no money, so shall she beg

black soul
that is me

i live my life like a crime spree

that is you

pull the trigger, adieu adieu.

human stain

i was born to feel yr pain
nicknamed the human stain
i am a whore
no more no more
i drove myself insane

pain is beneath my nails
i float with wholly sails
im half a whole
i lack a soul
forget what life entails

paper girl

this is where I live.
this little paper world
hold me nightly, out of spite please,

yr little paper girl

this is who i am
yr mother will assume
yr ancient victories will unfold

and tie u to yr tomb

but who am i u say
without that pretty face
prepare yrself for war

i live for yr embrace

Tuesday, June 15, 2010


u make me fucking sick
with all yr pleas and please
forget me when i leave, alone with yr disease
begging is for losers
yr such a fucking slut
yr worries will enfold u, u gotta lose that strut
hang in there kid, so they say
u know they’re full of shit
they pant and plead, they’re full of greed; a disease they can transmit.
anger’s filled my empty cup
they say i live for death
my momma cant sit still they say, result of too much meth.

guy not a man

beat me down
cus im young
u say i dont know shit
fuck u man
u dont understand
my feelings r legit
i’ll claw my way
to the top
to buildings in the sky
hear my beats
step out of time
u fuck just like a guy.

Friday, June 11, 2010

undulating love

fevered bellies
anger ridden
tame the maker
make her hidden
please your mother
sin the sinner
make the lover
make him dinner

Write yr memories in the sand,
Let them wash away.
Forever lost in the sea.
Here leaves the sight of day.

Watch her walk into the dark.
Hear her voice so faint.
She can do no wrong you say;
You call your love a saint

You wake to her in the dark,
Can't see her but you know;
Her smell: her scent, the love you lent
Will never leave your glow.

You seem to light the path
Back home and to your heart.
Refuse to think of an end:
An un-earthly work of art.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010


i have:

nothing to hide from now
nothing to see but foul:
sights and sensations,
new revelations
i am fondly contagious but how

i am:

energetic and pleasing at best
but those who know me detest
see me and run
for i will give none
save breathing for when I'm at rest

i have:
anger and spite deep within
the only constant is my steady sin
when i am without
i feel pain and then doubt
i love nothing not even my kin

i cry:
and barely can catch my breath
can't stop thinking of untimely death
stand back and see
my life is not only ME
call me a robber; it's theft.

Friday, June 4, 2010

to the bone

dust yr feet off, clear the earth
time to see yr woven worth
yr harried mind and fragile hands
lead me to misunderstand:
i am the pell i am the grant
i am the tree, the hole, the ant
i am the moon, the sun, the stars
i am the earth, venus, mars
i am the words, the pen, the ink
i am the plate, the kitchen sink
i am my nails, my dirty nails
i am the bugs, the slugs the snails
i am the ground, the dirt, the clay
i am a child’s grin, dismay
i am the mother and the dad
make me good for i am bad

huddle and pray

huddle beneath the earth
the earth
 i fell so damn pristine

ode to the sight of the sky
the sky
 i am a mean machine

u missed my mouth
my ever moving, changing glance
u missed yr move
yr only chance

i feel nothing
i feel it all
some days short
but most days tall

i am the soil
beneath my nails
i am just bones
i am so frail

eager yet
powdered nose
feathered rage

if this is how I’m sposed to be
count me out
one, two, three


take me
break me
make me
love adorned
heavy thorned
u sure wear that crown well
ready, pounce.
lies: the stories u tel

Thursday, May 27, 2010


smart and saddened
taste of matted

temper tantrum plus

angels: heaven
half passed seven

time to sit, discuss

meek but wild
worthless child

simple: sit and stare

make me, break me
please dont take me

jesus just dont care

Sunday, May 16, 2010

everything is relative

i am:
the scene in yr eyes
the danger beneath untold ties
the air in yr fair skinned paler than ale in
everything is relative: LIES

Tuesday, May 11, 2010


iv gotta stop this madness
i flushed whole bottles tonight
im sorry if i hurt u
out of love or out of spite

im angry with my Maker
never was my plan
to be open and available
with every single man

im sorry that i told u
my burdens now r yrs
i loved too fast and hard
labeled as a whore

i woke up all disheveled
a mess i made myself
broken and disfigured
coated dust on a shelf

Sunday, May 9, 2010


morning comes to early
most days i want to sleep

through the afternoon
i think of u and weep

i am so young
but who am i
without a heart and soul
those things i lack
dont give into
iv lost all self-control

im incapable of love
to give and to receive

my mother told me once
my pain was her relief

these bad days will soon be over
i think of that and smile
is this just God testing me
or like me is He a child

iv known for years
of these pains
my memories float back
i remember it all
before the fall
his motives: love they lack

twenty years eleven months four days

i feel bad for u my love
for wanting to be my friend
i betcha u didnt know
our beginning was our end
im crazy dontcha see
soon u'll know for sure
and why i take these pills?
for battles i endure

im constantly at work
also a habitual slacker
driven into the ground
chip off the old black lacquer

im dead inside
but now not sure
if i was ever alive

daddy touched me
in bad places
when i was only five

Saturday, May 8, 2010

lust for life pt. 1

death is for losers,
leaves angels in their dust.
heaven is for morons
cus living is a must.

i found myself a reason
for living and the like:
fill me up with yr narcotics
before my hunger strikes.

swallow up the violet.
chew and swallow chalk.
hear my stomach growl at me;
hear things that cannot talk
wander down the aisles
in search of faith and sin
wonder where madness ends
and the sane begins.

[broken] girl

will i come up for air
this time iv fallen deep
my smile has retired
my head it begs for sleep

but i will not give in
rest's just a disguise
for painful sullen memories
will lead to my demise

soon i will be gone
no more need to fear
when my time will end
cus my end, my dear, is near.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

blood banger

mom why do u leave
whenever u first wake?
sleep the days away
pound my heart with stakes

im dying can't u see
for yr love and yr time
for u id never eat again
for u id die thru rhyme

u push me into puddles
u push me into fear
yr lost in yr own misery
my cries u cannot hear

i hear u say at night
in yr room alone
"this life i have created
has worn me to the bone"

u seek yr love thru men
who only stay one night
and wait until the morning
disappear into the light

i have taken to yr habits
their substance i too crave
men don't love me more than once
to their attention i am a slave

i cry all the time
just to feel like we are one
for a period connected
then my seams they come undone

i live for yr affection
the thing i cannot get
no matter how much i pray
to u my love's a threat

mom u are a child
badly raising three
i wonder if i disappeared
u would start to see

how lovely are these bones
but torn the clothes they wear
sicker every day
emotions, raw and bare

i have to get away
u make me hate myself
im a book u'll never read:
melted candle on yr shelf.


i am the hate

u feel me with
every goddamn day

i am the love
u seem to miss

to u i am just prey

u better ship me, shape me up
shake me till im loose

fake me, fuck me, face me, for me
u help tighten the noose

im a fucking whore u said,
"useless yet adored

yr fucking father loved u more
to him u were his whore."

"he loved u every night u see
when u two were alone

i left u there, i didn't care
the drugs made me a drone."

my mother sliced me up
stuck me in a drawer
made me hurt till i woke
my bark became a roar.

Sunday, April 18, 2010


i am too proud
my pride it kills
ever lasting

lips stained red
junk filled car
take me home
or to
the bar

she said i do not care
i said neither do i
yr haunting figure and shaken hands
mean everything's a lie

Monday, April 12, 2010

nobody likes a poor girl

i'll always have these scars
but these pills and bottles
plils and btotles
pills and bottles and bars

are here to help me starve

smell the smell of rotting flesh
dontcha smell it ma
iv fallen deep this time you see
rewrite unwritten law

spit on me
that's fine you see
i dont give a shit

just dont say you will
and not intend
to follow through with it

my hate is love
my love is hate
it's all the same most days

fever ridden
world i dont fit in
leaves me in a daze.

tall one

ode to the erratic
in my head:

tall tales of humans blushing
hungry human fed

master in economY
in yr bed

master things that follow me
as master said

feel blood rush
to yr

as the sun will rise

feel self-hate
through yr veins

yr morals, u compromised

cognition and behavior
the two i cannot link
how/why i act out
i seldom first to think



make me feel much good


american i stood

beneath yr light, yr winded kite
yr loving touch and fame
mighty lash and heavy thrash
will never make me sane

gudamned love
my gun-downed love

anger has me now

feel me, fake it
yr sighs won't make

i am the cat's meow

Sunday, April 4, 2010


be gone
yr sacred song

mark me down for life

world we live in

end it with a knife

"that's not me", she said
i said, "yes well you know. ."

yr shaken feet and tilted head
say all marks are a go.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

my biggest fear: en·dear

the repetition
the motions
of love and threat and horrors

above it
the gender
of deities; restorer

make amends
among yr friends
so they will feel respected

for giving love
and taking love
are in·trin·si·cal·ly connected


yr love so heavy
like fire
it consumes all those within

yr heat, it radiates
like the devil radiates sin

my hands cant help but to shake
whenever i feel that yr close

my hate rising once again
leaves my illusion exposed

my stomach it turns
with empathy
i hate that feeling the most

dont look down on me
I'll look down on you
make u feel lucid; a ghost

dont hate me when im around
dont hate me when i am gone
dont hate that u miss the sound
of me when i was withdrawn

anger has tainted my view
the world is no longer sweet
my spite is long overdue
leave me now, for i feel complete


yr anger doesn't help me ma'
i am so sick of tryin'
yr loveless temper, hurtful stares
makes me feel like cryin'

i am so sick
not all my fault
yr hurtful past is

she sheds
but to yr bed
she melts like salt to rain

mark my words
i will die soon
if i cannot find peace

that was my mind
before my time
of bringin' down that beast

that anger hurts her
u see
it sometimes hurts me too

yr love is heavy
not just for me
but for others who love you

Monday, March 22, 2010

FeveR fEVEr

this i know
this u lack
FeveR fEVEr

tick tock tick tack

float on me
live in live on
FeveR fEVEr


burn on burn ON

gruesome love
heart will burn
FeveR fEVEr

false concern

love adorns
hand will break
FeveR fEVEr

first mistake

I am i Am
so i am:
sole mistake:
first pancake.
love me hold me let me go.

Just Aaas If

towards me, my love

hear my words;

insist upon me
anguish please

I'll bring you down,
down to yr knees

feel my heat:
my angry light,

my heaven:weathered,
livid bite!

yr hands bleed blue,
my heart bleeds black.

yr loot of angels
travel back:

back in time
when things just were,

rather than
a dizzy blur.

dizzy, lovely,
take my hand

insist that you still

man oh man.
luv yr man.
he'll leave u soon,
( )
that was his plan.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Day Walker: Re|E||D

Pt. 1

u touch my neck
i shake from my core
my inner being feels so ignored

night is allusive
days are so clear
i fight to feel what you fail to fear

Pt. 2

good morning young sun.
will you hold my hand?
feel heat 'neath my palm as my world-view expands

love me forever
or just love me now
plant my roots in your earth as you climb up my bough

Pt. 3

angel with wings
too heavy to fly
crawl on my walls and watch as i cry

love me then leave me
it's all the same
i am earthly confection, compounded with pain

Pt. 4

yr words: all consuming
my happiness: brief
yr love is so tender, all i feel is grief

my skin is so pale
i'll just lie in the sun
soak up infinity while u melt with the gun

Pt. 5

break with the day
wake with the night
intense is my anger; i revel in spite.

i am a bird
u must let me go
born a white dove, die a black crow.

Sunday, February 28, 2010


i'm going somewhere daddy
i do not wish to tell
my only burden is that you wonder if i'll burn in hell

my bones weaken daddy
for you i'll never speak
of things that scare you yet implore you; things that make me weak

i live for your love daddy
it is my one mistake
among a lifetime of degrading words I cannot fake

my tongue has fallen daddy
"one year in every ten"
i fall into your empty shadows just to see your grin

my heart has hardened daddy
i am too young to scold
like you do when i am wrong, or when i am too bold

life is my party daddy
i am a clown disguised
as a girl who is afraid of her own demise

i scream in rapture daddy
my mind is like a clock
i feel the earth beneath my feet, i hear the words, "tick tock"

an angel has me daddy
an angel: broken, brave
an angel worthy of my time, an angel that i crave

i am so saddened daddy
that i let you down
that i'm a mess; that who i am will never be profound

it's curtains for me daddy
time to turn away
time to make me, heal me, mold me out of your dirt clay

father we are the same
this you cannot see
for you my heart beats in pain;
for everyone but me


i am the world,
the world is me
i am THE EARTH; the dirt,
the trees.

look at my hand:
one less than five
fingers; linger,
live and thrive.

in my room,
purple den
that's where i make
and destroy men.

i thought I couldn't
write again
but here i am,
alive in SIN.

Saturday, February 27, 2010


breathe on me
breathe on me
words you say
come to me

in the night
in the bright
shadow's earthly
man of might

strength and brain
jeans and chucks
unzip yr pants
make some bucks

kiss me
kiss me
I'll show you where

love me
hold me
I am despair.