blood banger

mom why do u leave
whenever u first wake?
sleep the days away
pound my heart with stakes


im dying can't u see
for yr love and yr time
for u id never eat again
for u id die thru rhyme


u push me into puddles
u push me into fear
yr lost in yr own misery
my cries u cannot hear


i hear u say at night
in yr room alone
"this life i have created
has worn me to the bone"

u seek yr love thru men
who only stay one night
and wait until the morning
disappear into the light

i have taken to yr habits
their substance i too crave
men don't love me more than once
to their attention i am a slave

i cry all the time
just to feel like we are one
for a period connected
then my seams they come undone

i live for yr affection
the thing i cannot get
no matter how much i pray
to u my love's a threat

mom u are a child
badly raising three
i wonder if i disappeared
u would start to see

how lovely are these bones
but torn the clothes they wear
sicker every day
emotions, raw and bare



i have to get away
u make me hate myself
im a book u'll never read:
melted candle on yr shelf.