There are a lot of reasons I can come up with as to why I have not been active on my blog. By active I mean I have not consistently posted in years. I could say that I have been writing but haven't felt the need to post it online, but that is only partially true. I haven't written consistently, everyday or at least once a week, in over 4 years. I was on fire at one point, a girl on fire, one who set herself aflame. Burned too bright I had nothing left to give. Flew too close to the sun. Whatever the reason is, that pattern ends now. I am a writer. Good morning. I really hope that if you are reading this, this is not my first post you read. Might I recommend reading from the very beginning.

sinking ships (ode to fellow nymphos)

anger and desire

the two are side by side

in my bed weer made of lead

you left me and i died

now i walk in heaven

now i walk in hell

this bed we made if just for shade

has cracked my rotting shell

i am the crab sans home

the angered silver spoon

i lost my cause put game on pause

howled at my twin the moon

lover of destruction

hater of mankind

hold my hand iim sinking sand

too late for change of mind

sooner that we leave her

sooner that weer there

see the sound my lovely mound

under your dark glare

'

i breathe, you shake, i shiver

your hard under my hold

your hands they drift my shirt you lift

your fingertips are cold

im agile when you hold me

your grasp i cant evade

wet desire old thoughts transpire

your moans a serenade

we wake in early morning

the sun has yet to rise

wake with my tongue your heat it sprung

last night we soon reprise

you fall back asleep

you say i wore you out

my knees are burning from your yearning

but still i feel without

cooking in the kitchen

push up against my back

now you rise with lusting eyes

i take what you unpack

these letters my impression

i write solely for you

hang them high dont say goodbye

i know you want me too

letters from my mom in rehab

you think nobody sees you but I see you ma'

lickin your gums like you've broken the law

you think you're so funny when you sit and you stare

but my god the pain to know nobody's there.

I'm glad you're alive.

Not sure what that means.

They said you have written me

from your gas chamber fiends.

it's a means to an end

this cutting you out

oh no i don't hate you

but with my love there is doubt

you should have gone farther

smashed yr head in a door

i hear yr 'so sorries'

but im so fucking bored

Jazzy

i have a friend named tommy

shes a blood banger too

friends that are fiends and lovers who coo

she makes sad men smile

and all worth the while

we pay her dimes

i dont know where she is half the time but i love er

that girl that girl of mines like no other

this tunes not a tune unless you pay up

she dont mess around fuck around roll around LOVE

i have a friend named metho

he parties all night

complains about morning, hot stars that shed light

he makes his friends smile

but only for a while

cus sometimes he just gotta run

i dont know where he is most the time god i miss em

that boy that boy of mines like a piston

this tunes not a tune unless you pay up

he dont mess around fuck around roll around LOVE

i have a friend name D-ick

he sticks to his guns

calls insults debates, animated reruns

he makes sad me smile

he shows up to his trials

but sometimes he just wants to sleep in

i dont know where he is where hes not but hes golden

the sun only shines in the sky cus he told em

this tunes not a tune unless you pay up

he dont mess around fuck around roll around LOVE

i have a friend named J-arra

hes chasin a dream

acid made mountains and shroom composed streams

he makes red heads smile

while they stare at the tile

but many times he just walks away

i dont know where he is weekend nights but hes livin

rappers and hipsters beware of this villain

this tunes not a tune unless you pay up

he dont mess around fuck around roll around LOVE